Inanna – Daily Card for 8/2/20
No matter how great your childhood, how loving your parents were, or how supportive your village was, you were molded with fear and shame that needs un-learning.
Maybe mom was always trying new diets and dad learned that showing emotion is not manly. They feared for you, not wanting you to repeat their mistakes or learn first hand about the evil in the world. They wanted to you to have thick skin and strive for something better, to be successful and accepted by the society you live in. Our parents tend to box us in with fear and we, as parents, are no different.
This is, of course, not limited to traditional family units or an “ideal” childhood. It’s just to show you that even the best of circumstances are peppered with fear that causes us to hide the parts of ourselves that don’t fit into the expectations of others.
We might spend our entire lives trying to fix our “flaws” without ever understanding them, but you can’t solve a problem if you don’t understand what created it in the first place. What’s more is that when you finally begin to examine these issues, you will realize that most of them weren’t bad to begin with, that was someone else’s perception that was handed to you.
When we don’t attend to these parts of ourselves they show up in unhealthy ways. You may fear anger or sadness so you stuff them down until they come out on their own as rage and depression. Your entire life may revolve around exhausting yourself in an attempt to be useful or recognized because if you slow down you will be seen as lazy and even useless. You choose partners and friends who confirm your fears instead of holding out for those who might prove you wrong because you don’t think someone can be that good or that you don’t deserve someone like that anyway.
I could go on and on but you get the idea, these are the patterns that dominate our lives. They’re generational and societal but they can stop with you. It’s not easy to break these chains but once you break even the smallest of patterns you can physically feel the weight lift from you.
Take a good look at the parts of yourself you don’t like and ask yourself is this actually a bad thing? Whether it’s something you’d like to work on or not, accept that this is a part of you so you can learn to work with it instead of allowing it to create problems from the shadows.
If you’d like to learn more about why and how to work through these issues, look up “shadow work” on YouTube or Google and dive in. There’s a lot of great resources to help guide you through this and understand much better than I can convey in this format.