The Fear of Not Having Enough – 4 of Pentacles Reversed

Published by Trish Nonya on

In a world where you need money for even the most basic of human necessities, the fear of not having enough is very real. You might fear losing the roof over your head or having to worry about where your kid’s next meal is coming from. You may fear things that aren’t quite so dire but they’re still legitimate worries.

I’ve never been wealthy but I’ve been comfortable. I’ve not had to sleep on the streets but I have been homeless. As a matter of fact, if my friend did not take me in I would have been on the streets with a curable illness that could have easily become terminal under those conditions.

Why am I telling you this? Because life continued. Losing your stability is just awful. It reinforces all your fears and of course it makes getting back on your feet that much more difficult. It does not make it impossible though. It does take some determination but mostly it requires you to be creative and swallow your pride and ask for help.

When I lost my job and my home shortly after, I was looking for shelters and places where the homeless in my area set up camp. It wasn’t until the last minute that I asked for help. I didn’t want to go back up north, I failed at making my dream a reality, and I didn’t want to be a burden on the people I love.

I’m so glad I did it anyway. Because I asked, I received. I recieved a place to lay my head and a family that takes care of each other. I was able to have surgery that I’d needed for years with time to heal and forge the new life path ahead of me. Had I not lost my stability and my dream, I would not have discovered the dream that I am now living.

No, I’m still not quite financially independent, starting a business is very uncomfortable in that way, but I have a place to call home and if you see me in person you’ll know I do not go hungry. What I’ve discovered in the midst of my mess is that I can make a living doing what I love. That was the real dream that I put away before I even reached adulthood because I was under the impression that it wasn’t practical. My mess truly freed me.

There is life after loss, my friends. Of course you have to do what you can to avoid being caught in such a position but life is messy sometimes no matter what you do or how hard you try. My aim is to help you find hope in the darkness and to look at it as a clean slate rather than a life sentence.


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