Can You Love Someone if You Can’t Love Yourself?

Published by Trish Nonya on

How to talk to the worst parts of yourself, Nonya’s Nonsense #18

Can You Love Someone if You Can't Love Yourself

Table of Contents

Can You Love Someone if You Can’t Love Yourself?

How to talk to the worst parts of yourself.

Helloooooooo Beautiful Souls!!

How’s this full moon been treating you? I was highly irritable yesterday but feeling more like my usual mellow self today, much to the relief of my roommates lol!

Anyway, I saw this Ted Talk last week and couldn’t wait to share! Of course, last week was a Tarotscope week so I did have to wait a little while. I rewatched it again today and it was just as powerful as it was the first time. Not only is this inspiring and enlightening, she delivers this talk with so much love and humor that I laughed and cried through the whole talk!

“You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.”

We’ve all heard it from time to time. While it’s incredibly simplified, I do tend to agree with the idea behind this cliche. It’s not that you’re not capable of loving someone, it’s that the better your relationship is with yourself, the better the quality of your other relationships.

Learning to love and be kind to yourself is simpler than you think. Notice that I said simpler – not easier. It’s not about one day falling in love with yourself then never having to worry about it again. It takes intention and time while also requiring regular maintenance.

It’s not about somehow thinking that you are without flaws.

It’s about treating yourself the way you would treat someone you love. You still love your partner even though there are parts of them that aren’t so great and I hope you wouldn’t tell a child that they’re stupid just because they made a mistake – even a big one!

Our inner dialogue can be incredibly cruel and being able to “have a discussion” with these shadowy parts can create a snowball effect of healing and peace.

I hope you are as moved by this Ted Talk as I am! Sending so much love and peace to you!

💙Trish

“Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it”

~ Karen Faith

What I’m Doing

My current crochet project – I gave up! 😂😂😂

The below picture a recent attempt at finding the perfect project for this pretty rainbow-colored yarn.

I think it had roughly 7 incarnations. I didn’t like any of them so I just decided to do a granny square blanket which I’m happy with:

What I’ve written this past week

All the links are free, of course 🙂

What I’m reading

I finally finished reading Daughter of Fire by Sofia Robleda and it was great! It’s been taking me months just to get through a single book so I’m trying to enjoy as many full books as possible this year 🙂

Summary from Amazon:

“For a young woman coming of age in sixteenth-century Guatemala, safeguarding her people’s legacy is a dangerous pursuit in a mystical, empowering, and richly imagined historical novel.

Catalina de Cerrato is being raised by her widowed father, Don Alonso, in 1551 Guatemala, scarcely thirty years since the Spanish invasion. A ruling member of the oppressive Spanish hierarchy, Don Alonso holds sway over the newly relegated lower class of Indigenous communities. Fiercely independent, Catalina struggles to honor her father and her late mother, a Maya noblewoman to whom Catalina made a vow that only she can keep: preserve the lost sacred text of the Popol Vuh, the treasured and now forbidden history of the K’iche’ people.

Urged on by her mother’s spirit voice, and possessing the gift of committing the invaluable stories to memory, Catalina embarks on a secret and transcendent quest to rewrite them. Through ancient pyramids, Spanish villas, and caves of masked devils, she finds an ally in the captivating Juan de Rojas, a lord whose rule was compromised by the invasion. But as their love and trust unfold, and Don Alonso’s tyranny escalates, Catalina must confront her conflicted blood heritage—and its secrets—once and for all if she’s to follow her dangerous quest to its historic end.”

Click here for book details, links, and other book recommendations.

What I’m watching

Link is from IMBD

Handmaid’s Tale on Hulu

I recently found out that a close friend never seen this show and decided to rewatch the whole series for the 3rd time! This series is based on Margaret Atwood’s work and is just amazing!

What I’m listening to

I haven’t heard this one in a long time but it came up on my YouTube playlist today and it’s a perfect fit for today’s subject!

I’m not sure if I’ve shared this recently but it was an instant favorite with me. I still can’t listen to it just one time! Taylor Swift plus Florence + The Machine…amazing 🥰🥰🥰

And because Florence + The Machine 💙

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