I’m a Hot Mess, Here’s Why & What’s Up!

Because sometimes love hurts and light blinds.

A Quick Update

You may have noticed a significant decrease in activity from me recently; thank you for bearing with me on that! I want to let you know what is going on in my world and what you can expect from me in the near future.

This year has been all about purging for me, but this month, I hit warp speed by quitting cigarettes and making difficult med changes at the same time. Of course, I’m menopausal as well, so I’m trying not to spread my cuntiness, you’re welcome! 😂😂😂

Seriously, though, I’ve been going through it and consider myself to be on light duty, probably until the end of the year. So I’ll continue the Messages From the Universe every Sunday and will likely begin to slowly increase starting sometime next month.

The Real Problem

As you may or may not know, I am a 🦅’Merican with a reasonable amount of intelligence, and I care deeply for my fellow humans, the planet, etc. There are more of us than you think; the assholes are just louder!

I don’t want to take part in the hate and psychological marketing. Neither do I want to stay silent while a fraction of a fraction of the world population tortures and dehumanizes its fellow humans and destroys its habitat. I’ve been feeling really fucking helpless in the face of it all for a very. long. time.

no. more.

I’m not fucking feeling that way anymore, and neither are you.

Watching your country turn into a dictatorship is wild, especially when you’re trying to reconcile it with the fact that your own life, for the moment, continues each day with the same type of personal struggles and highlights as the last.

I have had no answers, no words, just a desire to watch it all burn. I know that sounds pretty dark for a lightworker, but I know I’m not the only one who feels that the collapse of all our crazy and unsustainable systems will be a good thing.

As a matter of fact, I just happened across this amazing TED Talk that echoed the pain and hope in my heart, and confirmed the calling I’ve felt to become the kind of elder our planet needs more of. It was perfect timing. I stopped writing, at a loss for words, closed my laptop, turned on my TV, and there it was!

I struggle with how I show up in the world at times because, at first glance, I may seem to be somewhat quiet about the awful things happening around us all the time. I don’t want to contribute to the anger, division, and hopelessness – we all see more than enough of that.

We already know people are suffering and that we’re destroying our beautiful planet; we don’t need to be continuously reminded of it. It can serve to motivate, but mostly it’s used to keep us feeling helpless, hopeless, and angry.

I ask myself how I can do better, then see and remember how I have woven almost all my content with brightly-colored threads of love and connection to self, community, and a higher power. This is not accidental, and it’s not just for personal growth – yours or mine – this is how we help birth a new way of life and living on this planet.

Our governments, our dogmatic religions, our corporations, and all these other systems that seem to be the ruling forces in our lives – they’re not here for us, and neither are they a “necessary evil.” They are just the devil we know. We have been created by these systems just as much as we have created them. It’s easy to understand why we might not feel like we can get out or imagine a better way.

Make no mistake, while I believe our warmongering and other such things are ridiculous and beneath us, love and light are not all puppy kisses and rainbows. Sometimes love hurts, and light blinds. New life is created in darkness and born in blood and chaos.

There is a difference between killing a man because he does not believe in your god and killing a man who is deliberately starving innocent people. There is fighting to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and fighting because you were ordered to do so or because it satisfies your ego in some way.

What’s the difference? Love, connection, belief in something bigger than yourself.

When I talk about self-love and acceptance, setting boundaries, etc., this is where we learn how to love on a grander scale. You don’t worry so much about trusting your neighbor when you’ve learned to care for yourself in a healthy way. You can give so much more, and in a completely different way, when you give from a place of wholeness.

When you learn about and accept your own “darkness,” you stop making up and believing others’ stories about what might be happening behind your neighbor’s closed doors.

Governments and civilizations will always rise and fall – but we humans – we’re not our systems. We’re our own thing, even collectively. Yes, we adapt to our environment and all that, but there’s so much more to it.

We connect, and help, and work together to get through the hard stuff. Whether we hide our neighbors from genocidal maniacs or donate to the local homeless shelter, this is what we all want to be doing in our hearts, even if we don’t want to admit it or know it’s possible. We’re always trying to find ways to do better!

Now, what if we took that love and connection, that desire to do better, and made it the norm with some real intention?

I’m not talking about donating and all that, though YES to as much of it as possible! I’m talking about choosing connection whenever possible. I’m talking about questioning your fear and distrust when encountering another human, making an effort and intention to connect more in a world that is truly starving for it.

Our systems make it nearly impossible for us not to produce harmful waste, consume things that dry up precious resources, use inhumane labor practices, etc., but we can use our love and connection and hope to find ways to do better on a smaller, more communal scale.

Maybe you learn to forage and start growing local plantlife in place of your lawn (or cornfield!!). You might start a group in your area for people who crochet to meet in real life – many a rebellion has begun in just such a way. Maybe you sever the cords of dysfunction in your family, so future generations are free of those traumas and destructive beliefs.

Maybe you “just” raise the vibration of the room with the love you emanate. At the end of the day, living in love, connection, and simplicity shows others that it’s possible.

I believe in ripples, and I believe the ripples are magnified right now. It doesn’t matter how big your stone or pebble may be, just cast it and feel it grow 💙

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